23 December 2006


Weesa going home.. Yes folks, Prometheus is going home. To Mumbai, the Urbs Prima in Indis. Nay, this is no vacation nor a break. He's got [Don Corleone accent]unfinished business to attend to[/Don Corleone accent]. He should be back to playing Lawrence of Arabia by mid January.

There may be an absence from blogging again. No, Mumbai has no dearth of bandwidth. Prometheus might not have the time to blog. He has much to do in a little time. But a homecoming it is. He will meet his mommy after a long time. And his friends.

He takes your leave. He leaves you with wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And this lovely and apt number:

This just in: Dontcha forget this -

Till then, Stay Wonderful *
*(© a dear friend)

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It was a dark, stormy night


Prometheus felt a blog post coming on. Had he possessed Yaxlich's Clenchometer, it would've beeped 'turtle head imminent'. Just then, turtle head decided to play hide and seek.

Ergo, nothing.

Prometheus leaves you with vivid images of turtle heads. Have a nice day, all.

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20 December 2006

See ya later, Alligator

The observant amongst you would have realized that Prometheus got a boo boo on his Moving (Middle) Finger. Goog calls it New Booger now, not Booger Beta. Well, they could call it the Presidink of the Yoo Ess and it would still suck. Waitaminute. THAT already sucks. But you got the drift, dincha?

Prometheus is now faced with the Herculean (howdy Herc Bro) task of getting a nice template to un-Booger this fair blog. He asks you to bear with this 'orrible thing till then.

This just in: Awrite youse leftwing Firefox-usin commies, Prometheus has fixed this template for you. At the price of a wee defect in IE. Happy?

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19 December 2006

Return of the Peace Globes

Regular readers, as opposed to decaf readers, will remember Prometheus went about Digging a Tunnel with a Plastic Spoon. For decaf readers, Prometheus will engage in repetition. Prometheus' blog-buddy Mimi came up with this amazing idea. Folks get a Peace Globe image from her, sign it with their name and send it back to her. Simple. And why are we doing it?

Flower power was the old black. Signing a Peace Globe is the new black. No, we do not have free sex or free drugs but you can play Rock (fine, we'll tolerate Hip Hop). Mims and her friends are doing Round Two. So if somebody was passed out dead drunk and lolling the last time we did this, now's your chance. The Peace Globes ain't a gifball (© Prometheus) that you sign and forget. It is a commitment to peace. Peace, that springs from within you and encompasses your world. No, you don't have to be celibate. Yes, non-virgins are allowed.

They say an infinite number of monkeys given typewriters will eventually come up with Shakespeare. Prometheus says you monkeys get signing Peace Globes and we can eventually come up with World Peace. Remember folks, its us who are the world. So don't wait for a messiah. Be one. Prometheus had wisecracked that this Peace Globe thing is like the aforementioned digging tunnels with plastic spoons. Well, Mims ain't listenin. And it IS Christmas time. So let's play Santa and get her one of these.

Tunnel Boring Machine

Ok, enough with the Guru speech. You be good children and traipse over to Mimi's and read all about it, straight from the Queen, as she spook it.

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16 December 2006

The Emperor's Shiny New Clothes

Prometheus stumbled onto this YouTube Video. Next-Gen Light Emitting Diodes or LEDs integrated into fabric. Now they've made clothes into glo-signs.

Though avoiding ambulatory advertising may prove arduous, Prometheus thinks these tees will help uber-geeks communicate with pretty girls. If the subject reacts negatively, oh well, one can always blame it on poor coding.

Prometheus will request M&S to stock his Illuminium range of luminous couture once he learns how to stop them blowing up the washing machine.

Our premium subscription will also enable wearers to download and flash the latest pickup lines, like "What name do you go by, you shining example of perfect genetics". In the interest of catering to our female clientèle, we also offer them the latest comebacks like "Did you just escape?"

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15 December 2006

Forty Two

An update on The Journey to the Beta of the Blogger: Blogger let Prometheus get past the Beta sign-in stage and gave him a tour of Beta Asylum and then went back to playing canine female again. Not to be outdone, Prometheus created another blog with another Goo-farkin-gle account to see what Beta had in store. And dismayed he was. To (mis)quote Gandhi, "Two-bit features do not a version make".

Onto today's business. That amazing woman from Pinoyland tagged Prometheus with a meme (apologies Woke, but a tag is a tag). This one makes the tag-ee reach for the nearest book, turn to page 123, skip 5 sentences and post the next 3 sentences. FYI, the bookshelf of Prometheus (smaller than the garden of his uncle but larger than the pen of his aunt) is back home in India. He has but one ebook on his computer, which he shall use for the purpose of this meme.

Aboard the Vogon ship, Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was puzzled. He had expected a chase, he had expected an exciting grapple with tractor beams, he had expected to have to use the specially installed Sub-Cyclic Normality Assert-i-Tron to counter the Heart of Gold's Infinite Improbability Drive, but the Sub-Cyclic Normality Assert-i-Tron lay idle as the Heart of Gold just sat there and took it.

A dozen 30-Megahurt Definit-Kil Photrazon cannons continued to blaze away at the Heart of Gold, and still it just sat there and took it. He tested every sensor at his disposal to see if there was any subtle trickery afoot, but no subtle trickery was to be found.

He didn't know about the tea of course, nor did he know exactly how the occupants of the Heart of Gold were spending the last three minutes and thirty seconds of life they had left to spend.

The tag requires Prometheus to mention the name and author of the book. But he'd like to put a twist in the tale, a spanner in the works and such sort of a thing. A riddle. Your task, dear reader, is to, without cheating (like but not limited to referring search engines) is to find the author and the book that those lines above came from. Prometheus has left a clue, if you know where to look.

Persons contemplating cheating should know that Prometheus has something far worse than 30-Megahurt Definit-Kil Photrazon cannons aimed squarely at their delicate regions.

Oh, Prometheus must now tag three others. So Yaxlich, Gem and SilverSabre. Go guys.

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14 December 2006

Bitter Blogger Beta Blogger

Blogger is behaving awfully American these days. No offense (see? Prometheus spells it 'offense' like them Yanks, not 'offence' as the Queen spooks) to his American friends, but Blogger is behaving like the gubment. Prometheus can feel Blogger prodding him onto the Beta. They teased him with labels and widgets. Then they actually offered him the upgrade. And now they won't let him comment on his friend's (who have moved to beta) blogs. And anyways, all his friends have already left him in his plain vanilla Blogger land and moved to Beta land.

Thus and therefore, Prometheus edges closer to Beta. He wanted to hold off till Blogger grew up, but not littering his friends blogs with awful comments was too much to ask for. He has tried to back up his blog. He hopes Blogger uses professional movers and packers who don't break his stuff on the way.

Prometheus is off to break on through and hopes his friends will carry fond memories of him in case he does not make it to the other side. Oh, guys, you have been good friends. Prometheus is proud of you and your friendship. He will always look upon you from blog heaven, so be nice.

Ave Blogger! Morituri te salutamus!*

*Hail Blogger! We who are about to die wish you get your head stuck in the posterior of a farting hippopotamus.

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13 December 2006


Leetspeak (elite speak) is to computing what SMS or texting is to mobile phones. This form arose back in the days when you connected to a BBS on a 9.6 Kbps dialup using the XModem-CRC protocol. What began as a time/bandwidth saving utilitarian idea soon became the esoteric secret lingo of hackers and geeks alike. Leetspeak basically tranposes the letter for a shape; so A is 4, B is 13, M can be /v\ and Hacker is H4x0R.

But this here is supposed to be a humor blog. So where's the fun part? Well, Prometheus came upon a nice pic. And he found Slim had already written about it. But nonetheless, he felt like adding his 7\/\/0-B17$ \/\/0r7-.

Presenting L337 7335, or Elite Tees:

Oh by the way, PR0/\/\37-3U5 (4\ r34D 7-47. PR0/\/\37-3U5 \33D5 70 937 L41D.

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11 December 2006

Ambiguity can lead to Multiple Conc(l)usions

A friend introduced Prometheus to Lojban. Lojban is a syntactically unambiguous language. It was created by the Logical Language Group and is designed to be culturally neutral. Given that it has no irregularities or ambiguities and its grammar is based on predicate-logic, Lojban can be processed by a computer as well. Fascinating, isn't it?

At work, Prometheus NEEDS the unambiguous nature of programming languages. But off-work, ambiguity produces interesting results. Sample the following sentence, said to have five possible parsings. "Time flies like an arrow".

Prometheus hopes you enjoyed this post. Without second thoughts, he will not be able to find friends better than you.

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To Beta or Not to Beta

That is the question.

Blogger, dear friends, has offered to take the Blog of Prometheus into its Beta fold. Prometheus thinks it has to do with the Displeasure of Dear Leader. He knows not whether this would result in the classic 'Help, I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0" syndrome. He solicits the opinions of those that have taken the plunge. To Beta or Not to Beta.

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08 December 2006

Korekt Grammers

Prometheus had an active day, blogitavely speaking. He came upon a few new sites. Some great, some pathetic. Found a gem that he wants to share. A blogger-friend-in-absentia calls herself a 'grammar whore'. Now, Prometheus doesn't claim to be a Grammar Gigolo, but the alliteration is attractive, wot?

Therefore and hereunder, we present; The Rules of Writing Good.

  1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
  2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
  3. The adverb always follows the verb.
  4. Employ the vernacular.
  5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
  7. Remember to never split an infinitive.
  8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  10. One should never generalize.
  11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
  12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
  13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  14. Be more or less specific.
  15. Understatement is always best.
  16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  18. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  21. Who needs rhetorical questions?
  22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  23. Don’t never use a double negation.

  24. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point
  25. Do not put statements in the negative form.
  26. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
  27. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
  28. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
  29. A writer must not shift your point of view.
  30. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
  31. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!!!!!
  32. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
  33. Writing ! carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
  34. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
  35. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
  36. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  37. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
  38. Always pick on the correct idiom.
  39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; they’re old hat; seek viable alternatives.

That's all folks!

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07 December 2006

Comment-ary on the Sesqui-whatever Meme

The 'big long word meaning 150' Meme drew interesting comments and questions from friends of Prometheus. He was struck by the brilliant idea that these questions could make a post, as opposed to a long winded self comment. So here goes:

Julia Scissor ;-) said: I have seen people laughing/ singing/ crying under influence but dancing? One of my friends tries to push parked vehicles when he gets high! Another one had turned up drunk at a communication skills practical and got an A+++ for his impromptu speech. Of course I'll never know what drives people to such acts because I'm a sworn teetotaller.

Jules mon amour; the alcofluence of incohol doesh caushe people to loshe their inhibitionsh, thereby caushing themshelves to think they are Fred Astaire. As regards teetotalling (funny, that word always puts an image in the mind of Prometheus; an image of a word stumbling down a stair. Like teeter, totter, teetotaller), Prometheus feels 'reality is an illusion caused by the absence of alcohol'.

gem said: What an impressive list. You could spin off twenty blog posts from this list. I'd love to know how you saved someone's life or what book you went back to read that you passed up in high school. You're more of a romantic than I would've ever guessed.

Gemmolina, but those twenty posts would give away the fact that our superhero Prometheusman is really mild-mannered blogger Prometheus. Oh, the author was H.G. Wells. The librarian at the school of Prometheus was a cackling witch from Jupiter. She wouldn't let him borrow The War of the Worlds. He did buy the book in college and read it. Nicholas Findler's Encyclopedia of Artificial Intelligence, however, has still eluded him. When Prometheus began reading Robert Ludlum, he devised this conspiracy theory that the librarian was an android cackling witch from Jupiter and did not want little Prometheus to discover her bionic condition. Romantic? Oh yes, Prometheus likes to think he's Rhett Butler, but the ladies seem to steal his "Frankly my dear" line.

H said: But. this is rather interesting. the disaster management workshop. rather curious about it...

Big H, you sure you and Prometheus weren't separated at birth? First the Piggy on the Railway, then Bombay-Mumbai. The disaster management thing is something Prometheus loved doing. Oh woe unto bureaucracy.

Radha said: "57. Pretended to be a superhero": Just curious...which one?

Oh every one of them. He read a gazillion comics. Supes, Bats, Spidey, Green Lantern, Captain America, Justice League, Phantom (just for "no man can shoot that straight"). He loves Spidey most because he always saves the day and still manages to come out smelling of dog poo. But if he were to gain somebody's powers, it'd be Superman.

Having 'preened for the bloggerati' and 'exhibited his well-read, intelligent, creative nature', Lord Prometheus goes back to his reality cave to transform magically into navel lint.

30 November 2006

The Sesquicentennial Meme

Wonderfully dubbed by Lizza as the "(Haven't) Been There, (Haven't) Done That Meme", this compendium of 150 things brings some faux relief to the blogstipated Prometheus. Deviously simple, the items in bold are the feats Prometheus has accomplished.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain {Yeah, so what if it was tiny}
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive {NFS won't count, would it?}
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars {On an airstrip, no less}
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight {and also learn't the hard way that hailstone balls ain't snowballs}
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse of the moon.
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run {A sixer in cricket is the same, right?}
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking {Dancing Under Influence}
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer {Had three}
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk {Feathersh of a bird, hic.. flock together}
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them {Easy when you've lived in a superdense city}
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs {Shades of OCD}
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone {If a disaster zone crawling with defense personnel qualifies as a combat zone. No gunfire, but the body count was massive and the threat of a possible recurrence added the 'could be killed any minute' factor}
92. Buried one/both of your parents {Cremated, to be precise}
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane {Well, for about 5 minutes at least}
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol {Rifle, pistol AND shotgun}
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper {No, it wasn't the Crime section}
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Tag, you're it. Drop a comment to Prometheus when you're done.

27 November 2006

Just Checking

To see if you guys are still with Prometheus.

Nothing blogworthy these days. Blogstipated. Prometheus thought it'd be good to put in a random post, lest he forgets what Blogger is like.

07 November 2006

Digging Tunnels with Plastic Spoons

Humankind apparently forgot that the term 'sapiens' in Homo Sapiens means intelligent. Forgot the adage that 'with great power comes great responsibility'. Humans: A monument to Murphy's Law that says 'anything that can go wrong, will'. A testament to the fact that inherently inane beings, given choices, will make the wrong ones.

But not all make the wrong choices. These few remarkable individuals probably stay the Hand of The Maker from obliterating this species from the universe.

One such individual is Mimi. Mimi started this idea called the Peace Globe. Titled Dona Nobis Pacem, and signed by participating bloggers; the Peace Globe was nothing more than the desire for peace of each individual blogger. Undeniably feeble an idea. Surely, a chain of globes cannot achieve what numerous important-sounding treaties did not achieve. When the United Nations, in its third avatar, has failed; when NATO is nada; when NPT is history; when the Kyoto Protocol is worth less than a retarded rodent’s rear and Human Rights have been, er, left behind; the term ‘snowball’s chance in hell’ seems rather inadequate to describe this audacious Peace Globe idea. Prometheus himself has participated in some high-sounding global treaties and world forums. He has seen enough to believe his former superior officer who termed these events as ‘Meeting-Eating-Cheating’ charades. Prometheus did tell Mimi that this Peace Globe thing was ‘like digging a tunnel to China armed with a plastic spoon’.

But Prometheus did participate in the Peace Globe venture. Why? There is a proverb in Hindi that means ‘even a twig is assistance to a drowning man’. When the sun is blotted out, even a firefly seems dear. For Prometheus, the Peace Globe was not just a symbol of his derision for war of the military kind. It also symbolized his prayer for a world where we treat each other with respect, with equality, with justice. A world where we have rid ourselves of hidden agenda, of malice, of superiority over another race or religion, of our selfish traits and of our parasitic tendencies. His dream of a clean human race, one that achieves so much more by harnessing the time formerly spent watching our backs. Like the Elf kind of Tolkien. Wise and serene. Drowning in an endless ocean of stupidity, selfishness and hate; the Peace Globe was Prometheus’ proverbial twig.

November 7 is the day Mimi chose to be Peace Globe Day. Frank Sirianni did an album of all participating globes. There are but a few globes. Nowhere near even a fraction of the number of active bloggers. But these few globes represent the wisdom of mankind. They are a shout for peace. They are proof that you can’t fool all the people all the time. They deride the idiotic excuses for war. They chant that peace is the only option. They pinch to remind us of Mutually Assured Destruction and its futility. They preach that life becomes so much better with peace. They are proof that a renaissance can and needs to be wrought. And they are proof that this renaissance has been wrought within us. A movement has started.

Prometheus is proud of the Peace Globe, proud of Mimi and proud of all contributors.

31 October 2006

Duel of the Fates

Cad Goddeu is a sixth-century Celtic poem. The English version is called The Battle of the Trees. The poem, too long to reproduce here; signified a battle among gods, a battle of wits -not of force. The poem has inspired Shakespeare who in turn is said to have inspired Tolkien's Ents. Chinese Whispers.

The poem is like a book. No references to the length. It is like a book, for it has to be read completely to understand it. Various parts mean various things. The sum of these parts is the tale. The shortest meaningful extract, however, goes "Under the tongue root a fight most dread, and another raging behind, in the head".

Probably the most famous Cad Goddeu inspired work is the Duel of the Fates. The soundtrack to Star Wars prequels. Usually played when the Jedi battle the Sith, but most significantly played as the theme to Anakin's transformation to Darth Vader. Lucas is said to have had this poem translated into multiple languages. He liked Sanskrit best, probably because not many know this language. Prometheus understands a bit of Sanskrit. Most words in the soundtrack are terribly bad pronunciations, if at all Sanskrit. However, it does seem to vaguely refer to "Under the tongue root a fight most dread, and another raging behind, in the head".

So why babble about Celtic Star Wars? Come to the point, we must (to use Yoda grammar. PS: Yoda is most probably derived from the American pronunciation of 'Yoddha', the Sanskrit term for warrior).

Some time ago, Lizza felt Blue and Yaxlich felt Mondayne. With Prometheus, everything seems to be of epic proportions. He thinks he is Bipolar. He is Mondaynely Blue. He is faced with an uncharted course of actions. Like chess just after the opening has been played. The midgame can go any which way. There are no correct or incorrect paths. His game has come to a veritable Zugzwang. One cannot pass, or lose a turn, in chess. When faced with such a compulsory move, and when any move made will result in some loss or the other, a Zugzwang is said to have occurred. He is forced into Anakin's Gambit, to merge Star Wars and Chess. A gambit where he either loses everything material and then some more, immaterial things if he choses what he believes is honorable, but impractical. On the other hand, he loses his high moral ground but does the rational thing and can salvage a number of things that affect not just him, but those he loves, those who have sacrificed a lot for him.

"Your battle alone, it is. Help you, no one can".

Prometheus hates diary posts. He has tried never to blog about his day or week or even year. But he believes he owes it to his friends; that they should know that Prometheus might not be blogging for a while. He hopes he can come back to blogging sometime. And he hopes his friends will be there then.

29 October 2006

Dear Leader is Displeased

Dear Leader Count Prometheus is displeased. Blogger would not let him blog. First, MyFileHut went down. His images disappeared. He had to move them to Photobucket. Next, Blogger would not only prevent him from posting, it would also block his attempts at commenting on other blogs. Clearly, democracy has failed.

Dear Leader does not tolerate this injustice. He will not give in to the ways of the powers that be. They will not be allowed to do as they please. They will no more trample upon us.

Dear Leader hopes Blogger listens to reason. He hopes they understand that he will be forced to resort to.. other means.. of persuasion. Dear Leader presents a trailer, a picture of our recent success, of what will befall Blogger if they listen not.

23 October 2006

The Amazing Meme of SilverSabre

Prometheus promised SilverSabre that he'd do his Amazing Meme. A visual depiction of one's favorite things.

Blogger tried its best to prevent Prometheus from posting images. Blogger has since learnt that a Promethean Promise is never broken and Hell hath no fury like Prometheus displeased. Ergo, we present the Amazing Meme as applied unto Prometheus.

Iron Eagles

Distilled sunrise

Six String Thunder

The Final Frontier

Shitty shitty? Bang bang!

Techno Prisoner

All Hail Gutenberg

The Fast, The Furious and The Luxurious

Everybody wants to rule the world

With friends like these, who needs the One Ring above?

As with all Promethean Memes, all ye who enter here stand tagged.

22 October 2006

Genesis of the Great Wall

Prometheus is in high spirits. No, they haven't appointed Bacchus as Food and Civil Supplies Minister here. His artsy-fartsy wall was well received, even liked by his friends. His spirits lifted when he pushed away the thought that all of his friends had en masse joined the SPCA and were observing Be Kind to Dumb Animals week. Happy, Prometheus is, to see the nice comments left on his wall. Also happy he is, to have crossed 5000 hits without jigging his counter.

In a related development, the inbox of Prometheus was inundated with interpretations of his wall, the Weirdo award going to the one asking 'Why's the lady on top left holding testes'. Inundation may be read to "4" questions. He thus felt the need to elaborate upon his genesis of his Great Wall.

It began with the a middle finger image. A pencil was drawn and morphed onto the middle finger. This became the centerpiece on the backdrop of Pink Floyd's album cover of "The Wall". The album cover text was hollowed out to leave but a vestige of the original. Next came Lady Justice, tied down, taken from another album cover. This time from "...And Justice for All" by Metallica. The Prometheus image was cut out and edged. As an afterthought, the face of Prometheus was replaced by that of Bela Lugosi playing Count Dracula. That should answer folk asking whether that B&W image is a mug shot of Prometheus. Next was the text-in-text image at bottom left. It reads 'Evil' within a border shaped like 'Good'. The title text was done in Metallica Old font with edging and glow added. More afterthoughts saw the addition of the One Ring onto the pencil-finger and finally "The Godfather" puppet controller just below. Unhappy with all this morbid imagery, Master Yoda threatened to slice n dice the wall with his lightsaber. Prometheus had to apply a charcoal effect and fade him out to stop the demolition.

Don Frank Sirianni annointed the wall with the Foxxfyrre tag and ordained it in his GmB wall of fame, in the process revealing the great truth of the conspiracy of Gemmolina and himself to get Prometheus to do a wall. And walk right into the conspiracy Prometheus did.

Dontcha hate it when ya hafta explain a joke?

Oh PS: Be honest, how many of those discrete items didja recognize? huh, huh?

20 October 2006

Great Wall of Mine-a

Friends of Prometheus had been doing the Grafitti My Blog wall, an ingenious concept by Frank Sirianni. Frank has so many walls, Prometheus thought of dubbing him Wall Mart, but killed the pun before it reached civilized eyes. Since Lizza stonewalled his mongering for doing a wall for him, he said to himself 'Wall, lets do it ourselves'. Before he could come up with more brain damaging puns, he mailed his wall to Frank. This process involved much trepidation since Prometheus' dalliance with art had ended when his drawing teacher turned an unimaginable shade of purple upon beholding his masterpiece.

Prometheus suspects Frank is an illustrious member of the SPCA and PETA, for Frank not only liked the wall but has lavished such praise upon him that Prometheus turned the aforementioned shade of purple, albeit for different reasons. He posts his wall here, in honor of the Grafitti My Blog tradition and goes off to plot a celebration upon becoming another brick in the amazing grafitti wall.

Disclaimer: Prometheus, while claiming ownership of this collage, does not claim any rights or lefts on the components of the said collage and attributes them to their respective or disrespective creators. Prometheus does not take any responsibility for ocular damage caused or artistic sensibilities affected. Viewers are advised to use protective equipment. Prometheus knows this fontsize is unreadable, but fine print wouldn't be fine print if it weren't in fine print, wot?

11 October 2006

Block of VoIP

Sung to the tune of "Walk of Life" by Dire Straits.

Here goes Etisalat makin stories
Of values of the UAE
Here goes Etisalat blocking websites
Anyplace, where porn there may be

Block out the foxy, they got the Proxy
Makin sure you don't stray
Skype leads to eternal damnation
Long-distance charges, they make you pay

Come do the song about the blockhead ISP
About rewards in the afterlife
Come do the Block, do the Block of VoIP
Yeah, do the Block of VoIP

Weird Al Prometheusovich

08 October 2006

Me(me) Two

Prometheus, having been tagged by Terra Shield, breaks his silence to post this meme.

  1. What is the best thing about my workplace?
    Prometheus owns it.

  2. What do I hate about my workplace?
    It ain't like Microsoft headquarters. Yet.

  3. What small irritants at my workplace really annoys me?
    It ain't making money like Microsoft. Yet.

  4. Describe the actions/quirks of the weirdest person I work with (can be a co-worker, employer, or a vendor if you are self employed):
    That's classified. Prometheus could tell you, but then he'd have to kill you. Yaargh! Could never resist that pun from Top Gun.

  5. What is one thing that I would change at my workplace to make life a helluva lot better?
    Make it like Microsoft.

  6. Pick five songs that I'd like played at my funeral......
    Now really, is this part of the same meme? Or is it a hint that Prometheus would depart this world sooner than he can say 'Microsoft'. But anyways, Prometheus has been meaning to start his own meme (dang the enterpreneur in him) on playlists. Just that Blogger won't allow tables. But here goes Prometheus' playlist. There are more to come, he's always adding more songs. As of the time of this publication, this is his current playlist, sorted by artist, that he'd like to be played at his mummification.
  • Chiquitita -- ABBA
  • Mamma Mia -- ABBA
  • Voulez Vous -- ABBA
  • Ring My Bell -- Anita Ward
  • Toccata And Fugue In D Minor -- Bach, Johann Sebastian
  • Für Elise -- Beethoven, Ludwig van
  • 5th Symphony in C Minor -- Beethoven, Ludwig van
  • 9th Symphony in D Minor -- Beethoven, Ludwig van
  • The Steward of Gondor -- Billy Boyd & London Philharmonic Orchestra
  • Uptown Girl -- Billy Joel
  • We Didn't Start the Fire -- Billy Joel
  • Buffalo Soldier -- Bob Marley & the Wailers
  • Blaze of Glory -- Bon Jovi
  • Wanted Dead or Alive -- Bon Jovi
  • You Give Love a Bad Name -- Bon Jovi
  • Brown Girl in the Ring -- Boney M.
  • Daddy Cool -- Boney M.
  • Nightflight to Venus -- Boney M.
  • Rasputin -- Boney M.
  • Rivers of Babylon -- Boney M.
  • Sunny -- Boney M.
  • Mighty Wings -- Cheap Trick
  • (I Just) Died in Your Arms -- Cutting Crew
  • Smoke on the Water -- Deep Purple
  • Heavy Fuel -- Dire Straits
  • Money for Nothing -- Dire Straits
  • Walk of Life -- Dire Straits
  • Hotel California -- Eagles
  • Without Me -- Eminem
  • Layla (Acoustic) -- Eric Clapton
  • Tears In Heaven -- Eric Clapton
  • Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) -- Eurythmics
  • Bring Me to Life -- Evanescence
  • Rock Me Amadeus -- Falco
  • Run to the Hills -- Iron Maiden
  • Danger Zone -- Kenny Loggins
  • Faint -- Linkin Park
  • In the End -- Linkin Park
  • Numb -- Linkin Park
  • A Tout le Monde -- Megadeth
  • Countdown to Extinction -- Megadeth
  • Foreclosure of a Dream -- Megadeth
  • Hangar 18 -- Megadeth
  • Holy Wars... The Punishment Due -- Megadeth
  • Symphony of Destruction -- Megadeth
  • Battery -- Metallica
  • Blackend -- Metallica
  • Creeping Death -- Metallica
  • Damage, Inc -- Metallica
  • Disposable Heroes -- Metallica
  • Enter Sandman -- Metallica
  • Fade to Black -- Metallica
  • Fight Fire with Fire -- Metallica
  • For Whom the Bell Tolls -- Metallica
  • Master of Puppets -- Metallica
  • Motorbreath -- Metallica
  • Nothing Else Matters -- Metallica
  • Phantom Lord -- Metallica
  • Pulling Teeth (Anasthesia) -- Metallica
  • Ride the Lightning -- Metallica
  • Seek and Destroy -- Metallica
  • The Four Horsemen -- Metallica
  • The Shortest Straw -- Metallica
  • The Thing That Should Not Be -- Metallica
  • Whiplash -- Metallica
  • 40th Symphony -- Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus
  • One Way Ticket (To the Blues) -- Neil Sedaka
  • Hero -- Nickelback
  • Come as You Are -- Nirvana
  • Lithium -- Nirvana
  • Smells Like Teen Spirit -- Nirvana
  • Jeremy -- Pearl Jam
  • Comfortably Numb -- Pink Floyd
  • The Wall -- Pink Floyd
  • Another One Bites the Dust -- Queen
  • Bohemian Rhapsody -- Queen
  • We Will Rock You -- Queen
  • Losing My Religion -- R.E.M.
  • Creep -- Radiohead
  • Californication -- Red Hot Chili Peppers
  • Under the Bridge -- Red Hot Chili Peppers
  • Played-A-Live (The Bongo Song) -- Safri Duo
  • Black Magic Woman -- Santana
  • Maria Maria -- Santana
  • Smooth -- Santana
  • Altered State -- Sepultura
  • Dead Embryonic Cells -- Sepultura
  • Desperate Cry -- Sepultura
  • Infected Voice -- Sepultura
  • Reign in Blood -- Slayer
  • Born to Be Wild -- Steppenwolf
  • A Hard Day's Night -- The Beatles
  • Can't Buy Me Love -- The Beatles
  • Love Me Do -- The Beatles
  • Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds -- The Beatles
  • Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) -- The Beatles
  • Nowhere Man -- The Beatles
  • Yellow Submarine -- The Beatles
  • Yesterday -- The Beatles
  • More Than A Woman -- The Bee Gees
  • Stayin' Alive -- The Bee Gees
  • Video Killed the Radio Star -- The Buggles
  • Break on Through -- The Doors
  • Light My Fire -- The Doors
  • Every Breath You Take -- The Police
And for the finale,
  • Star Wars Imperial March (Darth Vader Theme) -- Metallica & San Fransico Philharmonic
  • and
  • Wherever I May Roam -- Metallica
ending with 'Carved upon my stone, my body lie but still I roam' from the last song.

That's five songs. Right.

And Prometheus must, as is the nature of tags, tag five people. He tags all of his friends, whatever their number, will still be termed 'five'. All who read, must comply with this meme, for they will otherwise be come upon by the Curse of the Promethean Sarcophagus.

27 September 2006

Talk to the Finger

For the Hand don't wanna listen.

The Citizen Partnership Initiative of the hallowed Autocratic Government of The Moving (Middle) Finger Writes has bestowed upon you, the mortal citizens of this blog, the privilege of Talking to The Moving (Middle) Finger that writeth herein.

The Government shall accept all your praise and applause. Use the Meebo box at the top right of this page and join your fellow mortals in glorifying the noble Autocratic Government.

Terms of Use:

  • Non-applauding Talkers shall be treated under prevalent Treason Laws.
  • That which is said can and will be held against the Talker in our proprietary courts.
  • The Autocratic Government reserves the right to bill any Talker a random amount as it deems fit.
  • By continuing to exist you accept these and any other conditions that the Autocratic Government has imposed or may impose in the future, like but not limited to acquiring your soul as Property of the State.

26 September 2006

Ism Schism

Prometheus has made common his derision for humanity. He has experienced casteism/racism/generalization, though not as a direct participant. India is strewn with casteist politics, the most recurrent theme being caste-based reservations in education. The UAE has a great storm raging over nationals versus expats, to the extent that Prometheus has heard tell of a school text that depicts a skeleton captioned 'The Extinct National'. The West has already equated Muslims with terrorists, so much that a Sikh gets shot at for having a beard like Someone Who Flies Planes into Buildings. Some blog that Prometheus came upon went on about how Whites and non-Whites don't get along. Sunnis and Shiites have been blowing each other up for quite some time now. And these are modern times. Prometheus hasn't yet gone into the ages of the KKK or the Crusades.

His blogstipation partially stemmed from recent events. Events that, if blogged about, would result in a flame war. Like this one on the otherwise wonderful Secret Dubai blog. And blogs are anyways the works of "some acned 12-year-old in his parents' basement recycling rumors from the Internet echo chamber"

One power-struggle-affected attempt at creating a European Union, one failed attempt at a Common Language, no known attempts at a Common Religion and a history of division and bloodshed prompts Prometheus to wish for the end of the world. How ironic, Prometheus feels, to say 'Prometheus hates all humans'

Nice 50th post that. Wot?

24 September 2006

Tag, Heuer it

Prometheus, devoid of ideas bloggable, found an excuse for a post when his friend Yaxlich tagged him. He was tagged by Lizza with a book meme, but it hurt way too much to name just ONE book for every question. Yaxlich, being a kind Englishman, tagged Prometheus with this:

  1. The last movie you saw in a theater, and current-release movie you still want to see.
    Prometheus, like his friend Yaxlich, last saw Revenge of the Sith, an aeon ago. He loves Star Wars, even more than President Reagan. Prometheus explains his single status by telling people that he is a Jedi and is thus forbidden to take a consort. This way people think of him as just mad, not gay. Not to say that gay is worse than mad, but it helps gay folk understand that Prometheus is not available. Prometheus is woefully out of touch with current releases.

  2. The last movie you rented/purchased for home viewing.
    The Lord of the Rings, all three of them. He has read the book twice and is currently researching the Races of Arda.

  3. A movie that made you laugh out loud.
    Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, The Three Amigos, .. um.. does Prometheus have to stop?

  4. A movie that made you cry.
    Spiderman. It wasn't a biotech bug, MJ wouldn't be that dowdy on a bad everything day and subway people don't get to pore over Spidey's unmasked face. As the favoritest superheroes of Prometheus, he was aghast at the misrepresentation of truth.

  5. A movie that was a darling of the critics but you didn't think lived up to the hype.
    Prometheus doesn't recall any. Much time has passed since he critiqued the critics.

  6. A movie that you thought was better than the critics.
    Movies are generally better than critics. If Prometheus were to assume the question is the opposite of the one above, he would say Godfather, Scent of a Woman and some such can never be rated high enough.

  7. Favourite animated movie.
    Shrek, closely followed by Space Jam. Prometheus loves Bugs Bunny and Elmew Fudd. You better wike them too, or Sir Prometheuf will speaw you with his wance.

  8. Favourite Disney Villain.
    Refer (5) above.

  9. Favourite movie musical.
    Chicago, for mon darling Catherine Zeta Jones and Richard's razzle dazzle.

  10. Favourite movies of all time (up to five) in no particular order.
    Top Gun (cheesy, but Prometheus always wanted to do inverted negative 3G dives at Mach 2)
    Star Wars, all of them (still counts as one)
    LOTR, just like Star Wars above
    Finding Forrester
    Sholay (Bollywood's biggest ever movie)
    That is six even by fudged numbers, but Prometheus claims temporary loss of ability to count.

As with tag games, Prometheus must tag five people. Prometheus doesn't want any of his friends to be left out so he tags all that read this. Can't help it. Prometheus has always been this way. The Association of Genies avoids Prometheus like a lead-sealed bottle for his first wish is for a umptillion more wishes.

Tag, you're it.

16 September 2006

Poetry 202

Ouch, that big word
The fear of ridicule
of being termed absurd

Believe in yourself,
Believe in your art
Let people laud
Or let them fart

Take your pen everywhere
Bed, office, and also to the loo
Whether asleep, at work
Or even while you poo

Shut out the cynics, but let
Constructive criticism permeate
Today they smirk, tomorrow
They'll dub thee Poet Laureate

13 September 2006

The End of a Reich

The man devoid of facial hair. He of the big chin. The perfectionist. The champion of champions. The Rainmeister, Herr Kaiser, Michael Schumacher.

Schumi announced his retirement from Formula 1 after winning Ferrari's home GP. Three more races to the end of this season, and a reich, an era will come to end. This man debuted at Spa Francorchamps in 1991 as a replacement driver. His first race ended before he could drive a kilometer, thanks to a broken clutch. Benetton snapped him up and he gave them points from just his second race.

Controversy and Schumacher have been bedfellows. The 1994 incident where he rammed race leader Damon Hill in the title decider race to claim the championship by one point. He was also part of the darkest hour of Formula 1 at Austria in 2002 where 'team orders' were issued to his teammate Rubens Barrichello who was the race leader to step aside and let Schumacher win so as to give him extra points in the championship stakes.

But this man has also been part of some of the most memorable races. His maiden victory at a wet and slippery Belgium in 1992, on account of a brilliant tyre-change decision and another victory at Belgium in 1995 having started from 16th on the grid got him the title 'Rainmeister'. In 1998, at Hungaroring where overtaking is nigh impossible, he made history of sorts when he made three pitstops and covered 25 seconds in 19 laps to take victory.

He holds every record in Formula 1 and the following stats show the margin of his lead.

Most wins at one circuit
8 Michael Schumacher
6 Ayrton Senna, Juan Manuel Fangio

Maximum Pole Positions
68 Michael Schumacher
65 Ayrton Senna

Start to Finish (Pole and Victory)
40 Michael Schumacher
29 Ayrton Senna

Hat Tricks (Pole, Fastest Lap, Victory)
22 Michael Schumacher
11 Jim Clark

90 Michael Schumacher
51 Alain Prost

Podium Finishes
153 Michael Schumacher
106 Alain Prost
80 Ayrton Senna

Career Points
1354.00 Michael Schumacher
798.50 Alain Prost
614.00 Ayrton Senna

Prometheus never thought he would so admire the Kaiser. He adored Ayrton Senna. None but Ayrton Senna, arguably the best driver even today. Ayrton did his things without any of the gadgetry found on cars today. Prometheus hated Schumacher back then, as he hates Alonso now.

Prometheus was standing in for a tour manager, conducting a gaggle of 40 senior citizens vacationing in Nainital, a scenic mountain town in India and missed the only race in 3 years. Upon his return to Mumbai, he learnt that MTV had gone off air and Senna had died. In days past when safety wasn't paramount, Senna was entering a corner when his steering column came off. He hit a concrete wall at Tamburello at 190 kph, slowing down from nearly 300 kph. The G Force snapped his neck.

History is set to repeat itself when Prometheus, having missed every race this year, might miss Schumi's last race before he retires. Alonso leads by two points now and with 3 races to go, Prometheus is having a word with Zeus and other Olympians that Schumi wins this year's crown and makes a record 8 world championship titles.

Long live the Kaiser!

07 September 2006

Poetry 101

You may resort
to a word like thyme
That's because
your thoughts don't rhyme

You must insert line
breaks where they
are least

Poets who
don't aren't

Finally, you could get more
than the arses of lemmings
if you spell your name
like e.e. cummings

05 September 2006

Adieu, Steve

Steve 'Crocodile Hunter' Irwin, the inimitable environmentalist died in a freak accident. He was filming underwater for Ocean's Deadliest when a stingray spiked his heart.

This is one time crocs won't be shedding crocodile tears. Godspeed, you nasty lovable Ozzie.

01 September 2006

Stop Press

World icon Prometheus, who has denied interviews to CNN and Time Magazine and has reportedly turned down a Speilberg offer to make a movie based on him, has given a rare interview to ExpatInterviews.com. It is reported that a woman named Lizza, one of the bosses at ExpatInterviews, has snagged this interview. Both parties deny any relationship between them and maintain that they are 'just good friends'. Lizza was last seen partying with her girlfriends, allegedly celebrating her 'friendship' with Prometheus, while media agents for Prometheus declined to state his whereabouts.

Frenzied fans have stormed www.expatinterviews.com to read their idol's interview on expat life in the UAE. Sprint Telecom is said to be upgrading fiber links to the ExpatInterviews site to keep up with the bandwidth demand. Unconfirmed reports also state that education departments are planning to include Prometheus' interview in school and college textbooks. The interview, a literary masterpiece, is protected under copyright laws and an Ivy League college is rumored to have offered a large sum of money to reproduce it for their management quanbook.

31 August 2006

The August Fellowship

And so ends an eventful month. August. Important for Prometheus, for a lot has happened, blogistically. Earlier, Prometheus would post only when he felt he had something that must be blogged. Ergo, this blog fair would have one or two entries a month and this would happen about 8 months a year.

The chance visit to the UAE Community blog changed all that. Prometheus made a few, very special friends. The lovely Tainted with her wonderful and razor-sharp writing, the amazing Lizza whose blog won the Bestest Blog award, UAE Creatives and their analysis of advertising and media in UAE, Woke and his Bol Dubai that is always a wonderful read, Terra Shield who has discovered the superhero in her, Gem, the witty lady with a kind heart, Yaxlich who is similarly affected as Prometheus with his third-person speak but is way wittier, SilverSabre who shares Prometheus’ adoration of Metallica and Gibson Les Paul guitars, Rhys and his Noah’s Ark-ish World of Bloggers and many others whose blogs Prometheus stalks. Prometheus is indeed fortunate to have email contact with some of these blogmates. He has found friends. Prometheus dubs these The August Fellowship, for he found them in the month of August and they are indeed august as in ‘impressive, majestic, dignified, noble’.

The Moving (Middle) Finger wrote an amazing 12 posts, including this one, in this August, inspired by the above-mentioned august friends. Prometheus hopes this tribe of friends grows in number and in love. In his current, schmoozy state of mind, he wishes the best for all these blogs and the bloggers behind them and hopes the Moving (Middle) Finger doesn’t fall prey to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Slàinte mhath. (Pronounced Slaan-je-vaah, Gaelic for ‘Cheers’)

PS: Despair not, if your blog doesn't find mention here. We are currently accepting membership to the September Species, bidding starts at US$ 100. Banking details available upon request.

The Curse of Prometheus

Y’all know James Bond. Y’all know that Sean Connery is, was and will be the Best Bond ever, followed by Pierce Brosnan. Y’all know that Daniel Craig is the next Bond. Y’all know that Prometheus is 89% like James Bond but is alas, minus Bond babes.

What y’all don’t know is that in the next Bond flick, James is gonna be ‘jilted by his lover’. The jinx (as in bad luck, not as in Halle Berry) of Prometheus has struck his alter ego.

Y’all be forewarned that if Hugh Hefner dies of gonorrhea it was because some quiz said Prometheus is 93% like him.

28 August 2006

Uncrypted Writings

Pained at the extreme discomfort caused to his friends and intimidation caused to others, Prometheus breaks the mystery of the Cryptic Writings. Clues, he cannot provide for he's already said too much. Ergo, the riddle is hereby broken.

Some are hints, the others clues
Look between the I /I.

The I /I as most bloggers would know, are the tags that put text into italics. So the hint is to look for text in italics.

"Prometheus asks his you to put yourself before high as he himself is before the golden state."
Yourself, from your point of view is 'Me', High is a synonym for tall. Similarly, he himself, Prometheus, from his grammatically correct point of view would be 'I'. California, land of another mythical hero, Conan the Barbarian, is the Golden State.

Put these together in the prescribed order. Me, Tall, I, CA

The four refer to James (Jaymz) Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammet and Jason Newsted, the four heroes.
"One moved to another temple". Dave Mustaine, the original lead guitarist, was kicked out for his drug abuse and solo hero antics. He went on to create Megadeth, another temple that Prometheus visits.
"One died", Cliff Burton, the bass guitarist from the first lineup died in a freak accident.

"From homicide till black". Homicide, meaning Kill 'em All, their first produced album and Black, the eponymous album also called the black album by fans. Prometheus loved Metallica's work from Kill 'em All, ...And Justice for All, Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets and Metallica (eponymous album). Then Metallica changed their sound. Load, Re-load, Live Shit, St. Anger... Prometheus stopped listening to Metallica. Ergo, the four deities fell from the grace of Prometheus.

Finally, the stress on One indicated Prometheus' love for the Metallica song of the same name. The pic clue was originally intended to be a still from the One video that was to be the next clue. Similarly, the Four Rohirrim. LOTR fans would know Rohirrim are the horse-lords or horsemen. Four Horsemen is another Metallica number favorited by Prometheus.

Prometheus expected the wielder of the Argentum Sword, or SilverSabre, a blogger who loves Metallica and guitars, to solve this. Maybe Prometheus didn't give him enough time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the code is cracked.

26 August 2006

Cryptic Writings

Prometheus, weary of funny posts, puts forth
A riddle to anyone who cares to try.
Some are hints, the others clues
Look between the I /I.

Four heroes. Four deities. Demigods. From homicide till black. Fell from the grace of Prometheus. One moved to another temple, one died, others remain, but not the same. How he wishes things had not changed. That the Four Rohirrim had stayed themselves. Not even he can stop time. Prometheus asks his you to put yourself before high as he himself is before the golden state.

Next week (or whatever time is convenient to Prometheus): A pic, a clue, a hint.
O wielder of the Argentum Sword, I expect you to answer this.

25 August 2006

Schmaken, not Schmirred

Quizzeria Duo. Feeling a bit low on self-esteem after a few recent events, Prometheus took the What Action Hero are you? quiz. And the results are:

You scored as James Bond, Agent 007. James Bond is MI6's best agent, a suave, sophisticated super spy with charm, cunning, and a license's to kill. He doesn't care about rules or regulations and somewhat amoral. He does care about saving humanity though, as well as the beautiful women who fill his world. Bond has expensive tastes, a wide knowledge of many subjects, and his usually armed with a clever gadget and an appropriate one-liner.

Erm... Intelligent, yes. Sexy babes, they think I'm a bowl of soup. Save the world, yes. Sexy cars, uh can I borrow your tricycle? Wide knowledge of many subjects, yes. Vodka Martini, naah... gimme whiskey any (day/noon/evening/night). My M is me mommy, Q is mommy too.

Hulk no like quiz. Hulk smash QuizFarm. Rrrraaaaarrgghhhhhh!!!

24 August 2006

The Bestest Commercial yet?

This Honda ad was made by Cog. It's pretty old now but still enthralls me. What's special about this Rube Goldberg contraption is that NO CGI WAS USED. It took five months, A$ 6 Million and 606 takes to create this gem. The only post-production touchup is the lighting on the car doors. Needless to say, it got the gold at Cannes.

Click to get the ad. The Autoplay was getting a tad irritating.

All rise as we salute Cog.

22 August 2006

View from the Promethean Observatory

Observation 1: Shock value is in. Surfing for good blogs can be like finding intelligence in governments (not to claim that this blog is of any worth). When you do hit something interesting, you come upon descriptions of personal preferences of erm.. innerwear, or the refusal to wear them. Then there are the profanities. 'Oh, I went to the f#(kin church today'... I told him to shove it up his @*s... She's getting a tattoo near her...' No, Prometheus isn't on Etisalat's payroll. He abhors censorship. But freedom isn't supposed to mean anarchy. Prometheus could be wrong. The sheer number of intelligent folk subscribing to shock value makes him wonder if he's got his bearings messed up.

Observation 2: Google Earth is out. So long are you are Google Earth-ing the Lands of Bush or those of his pet Blair, you are fine. Try searching Dubai, UAE. By default, the earth centers onto the UAE embassy in, where else but, the United States of America. So you enter United Arab Emirates and hey presto, the world zooms onto the sandbox. Er, did I mention it zooms far too deep till the screen goes bluish green (or greenish blue). The United Arab Emirates, if Google Earth is to be believed, did an Atlantis and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Wait, you zoom out till you see brown, could be land. Yes sir, we have United Arab Emirates back on land. The center of Dubai is somewhere in Naif / Nasr Square. Ajman is, well, near Atlantis. Which is when Prometheus hit the nifty little x on the top right and switched to Map24. Mucho better, if you aren't looking for the bottle of rum you hid on your building terrace.

Observation 3: Companies who fax doodles for location maps are morons. You are to visit a company. You ask them for their location. They say they'll fax you a map. You wait. You wait even more. Just as you are about to call them up and ask them to fax the damn thing if they're done painting their nails, in comes the fax. Map? It's more like a bleeping Picasso imitation by a bleeping piece of bleep overdosed on an illegal substance. Requiring you to undertake an exercise that results in Observation 2 above. A phone call to clarify things results in a landmark given as 'the 3rd traffic light' on a street with 17 of them. Excuse me lady, but those coordinates would work if Prometheus were of the canine ilk. Woof! to that.

19 August 2006

Samurai Song, The Sun Never Says

Two poems that have been on the mind of Prometheus. These may seem difficult to read since the linebreak is at seemingly odd places. But such is poetic license. Prometheus is off to apply for one.

Samurai Song
-Robert Pinsky

When I had no roof I made
Audacity my roof. When I had
No supper my eyes dined.

When I had no eyes I listened.
When I had no ears I thought.
When I had no thought I waited.

When I had no father I made
Care my father. When I had
No mother I embraced order.

When I had no friend I made
Quiet my friend. When I had no
Enemy I opposed my body.

When I had no temple I made
My voice my temple. I have
No priest, my tongue is my choir.

When I have no means fortune
Is my means. When I have
Nothing, death will be my fortune.

Need is my tactic, detachment
Is my strategy. When I had
No lover I courted my sleep.

The Sun Never Says

All this time
The sun never says to the earth,

"You owe Me."

What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the
Whole Sky.

Thanks to Suhit San for sharing these with me.

16 August 2006

Quizzeria Uno

Quiz fever's been doing the rounds. Prometheus has been blogsurfing quite a bit these days, given that he has not much to do asides from picking navel lint. Way too many blogs feature this quiz result thing. But when I see quizzes on some of the blogs I like (Loud shout to Lizza, Tainted) I have to play 'keeping up with the whatztheirnames' (Jones is too Pommie and I couldn't spell Krzynsltsky).

But Prometheus has to be different, doesn't he? So he doesn't take the 'favorite celeb you resemble' quiz. Something caught his eye. And it still hurts. The 'what will your obituary say' quiz. Being denied euthanasia (wonder why they call it euthanasia, I mean, youth in europe might want to kill themselves too), he jumped at the quiz. And he shares the results, as are supposed to be. Therefore:

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Prometheus the Software Guy knows how horribly inadequate these quizzes can be, but this one gets the 'Yer damn right on the spot' award.

We are now accepting your 'heartiest condolences'. No faeces, I did come across this one.

15 August 2006

Terms of Reference

At the cost of undermining the mystique of those Latin terms that appear on this blog, I translate them, upon request of a friend.

  • Verbum Sapienti Satis Est - A word to the wise is sufficient. Which may be construed to mean people who don't understand my posts are morons, not that I'm implying it.

  • Drinkeo Ergo Cogito. Cogito Ergo Sum - Is the abridged version of Drinkeo Ergo Cogito. Cogito Ergo Sum. Ergo Drinkeo Ergo Sum. Which may be construed to mean 'I drink therefore I think. I think therefore I exist. Therefore, I drink therefore I exist. In case you did not comprehend, refer Verbum Sapienti Satis Est above.

  • Veni, Vidi, Volo in Domum Redire - Means I came, I saw, I want to go home. Defined as the activity undertaken by readers of this blog in response to being overcome with sheer nausea.

Why Latin in the first place? Because its uber cool to use foreign words like uber. Also, one can write insulting things that masquerade as compliments, since Latin is Greek to most people (Greek insults would be Latin to them, but not so uber cool as Latin ones that are Greek to them).

Finally a limerick on the subject. It is not mine, therefore not unbearable.
Latin is a language
Dead as dead can be
It killed the ancient Romans
Now its killing me.

Whoever wrote this poem, you are credited ab imo pectore, therefore do not consider litigation, considering that I am represented pro hac vice by Advocatus Diaboli who will ensure that you are ex tempore visited upon ad infinitum by your matre legem.

For non-Verbum Sapienti Satis Est folks, that means, I thank 'from the bottom of my heart' whoever wrote this poem. Don't sue me, cuz my lawyers are the same guys who represent 'ol Lucifer, and they will ensure that your mother in law moves in with you immediately and forever.

Prometheus, the master of simplifying things by compounding them.

13 August 2006

Weirding the language

Prometheus remembers the arguments with Suhit over the evolution of the language. ‘It is the nature of language to evolve. Nobody speaks Queen’s English the way she spook it’, he would jest. The blood of Prometheus the Puritan would boil. Reverence for his grammar teachers and love for the languages would cause him to revolt. ‘I agree that language has to evolve. We did not have words like motherboard and podcast in English till a few decades ago. But (yes, Prometheus did evolve enough to disregard the ‘Never begin a sentence with “but” rule’) evolution does not mean mutation’, Prometheus would retort.

Prometheus routinely witnessed the assault on English in Mumbai newspapers, but it was his relocation to the UAE that would make him see bloodbath. Not the Middle East conflict, but its reportage. Sample a headline, dear readers: ‘Region Aids Hub’. Though he would like to cast a sadistic smirk at your torment, Prometheus will put you out of your misery. The news item below the headline went on about the Arab ‘region’ providing ‘aid’ to war-struck Lebanon through Dubai, the financial ‘hub’. Prometheus was reminded of an item in the Times of India that went something like ‘man kills wife for having an affair with a chopper’, which at first boggled the mind of Prometheus as to why would a woman have an affair with a chopping tool. This was before he realized that his own love life or the lack (of love and life) thereof could drive him to taking an irresistible attraction to a 65535-piece ratchet socket set. He consoled himself out of this relationship when he came up with ‘she loves me’ on the 2749th bit of his 2750-way multi spanner.

Having nothing better to do, he trawled the Internet when he came upon ‘verbing weirds the language’. Prometheus heard what felt like an anguished moan emanating from the final resting places of M/s. Wren and Martin. Apparently, it has become fashionable to use verbs and nouns interchangeably. As in ‘I architect software solutions to live but I live to blog’ or ‘the United States partners India as it transitions into a global economy. This deeply impacted Prometheus the Software Guy, who insists on closing every open brace (with a matching closing brace (in his subthoughts)).

Powerless to halt the transmogrification of the fair spræk of Engelond, Prometheus went back to mind his r’s (not arse) and s’s. Everyone else already minds the p’s and q’s.

Afflicted by nostalgia, Prometheus leaves you with this Middle English poem excerpted from Wikipedia: Middle English.

Whan that Aprill with his shoures sote
The droghte of Marche hath perced to the rote,
And bathed euery veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth
Inspired hath in euery holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe course yronne,
And smale fowles maken melodye,
That slepen al the niȝt with open ye—
So priketh hem Nature in hir corages—
Than longen folk to goon on pilgrimages,
And palmeres for to seken straunge strondes,
To ferne halwes, couthe in sondry londes;
And specially, from euery shires ende
Of Engelond to Caunterbury they wende,
The holy blissful martir for to seke,
That hem hath holpen, whan that they were seke.

Translations: When April with its sweet showers has pierced the drought of March to the root, and bathed every vein in such liquor from whose power the flower is engendered; when Zephyr [the west wind] also, with his sweet breath has blown [into life] in every wood and heath the tender crops, and the young sun has run his half-course in the sign of the Ram [Aries], and small fowls make melody, who sleep all night with open eye - so Nature stimulates them in their hearts - THEN people long to go on pilgrimages, and palmers [i.e. pilgrims carrying palm leaves] to seek strange coastlines, to distant saints [i.e., holy places], known in various lands; and specially, from every shire's end [i.e. the border of every county] in England, to Canterbury they journey, to seek the holy blissful martyr [Thomas à Becket] who helped them when they were sick. (source: Wikipedia)

Gollum goes to Iraq via Lebanon

It has anthropophobia. Yes precious, Anthropophobia. The fear of society, of humankind. Fear? No precious, it does not fear anyone. It detests humankind. Nasty humans. They makes it sick. Yes precious, sick.

They kills everything. Tree, animal, their own kind, nature. Kill, murder, pillage, burn. That’s all they does, yes. They murders babies too, the nasty men. And they are proud of their devastation precious. They gloats how they can destroy more than others. Sick, sick, sick. Liars, murderers, thieves. Not orcses precious, Man. Yes. We hates them.

They divided everything precious, everything. They divided the land, divided the water, divided the Gods. As if they owned it all. Nasties. Filthy little men. And now they trespass into the lands of others of their own kind precious. They wants more. Yes, always wants more. More land, more water, more power. And they says their god is better than that of others. Yes precious, the nasty fools think they know more about god than He himself does. Once they appropriate god, they will murder Him too precious, yes they will. They wants to take His place precious.

Filthy creatures. God did not create them precious. He would never create something so filthy. They were monkeys once. Yes precious, naked monkeys, baboons, with their red bottoms and dangling testicles. Taken by the Dark Lord, tortured and mutilated. Perfected into filthy nasty Man. The torture put their bottoms and testicles in their heads precious. That’s what they thinks with, yes, they thinks with their bottoms and testicles. The filthies.

And they calls us wretched because we eats raw fish. They lays down moral standards, yes they does. They says incest is bad precious, very bad. Something that only perverts do. Are they all not perverts precious? Yes they are. Don’t they rape their own mother earth in the name of a father in heaven? Yes they does.

That’s why we hates them. We don’t needs them precious, we don’t.

The rock and pool is so cool
Beneath our feet.
All we wish is for a fish
So juicy sweet.

29 June 2006

Tremors of the Earthquake Kind

Tremors have rocked Prometheus' life since time immemorial. He has developed a sort of immunity to them. He even thinks it odd if but a week were to pass without an untoward incident. But an event occured that would redefine his idea of tremors.

Somewhere between 0100 hours and 0130 hours on Thursday, June 29, 2006, as Prometheus sat at his notebook computer, he felt dizzy. A quick self check revealed these weren't a bout of dizziness caused by low blood sugar levels. These were tremors, of the earthquake kind.

Prometheus had felt an earthquake before. The infamous one that razed Nicobar. But there he was part of a rescue team. A full 50-men strong team of professional rescuers with complete 4 ton equipment payload. But today was different. Prometheus found himself in his 15th floor apartment in Ajman, UAE. The general lack of information dissemination systems, the absence of any evacuation plan and his own uninsured state, with gargantuan unsecured liabilities amplified the tremors in the mind of Prometheus. He felt akin to being on the observation deck of the WTC on 9/11, watching the planes come in.

He evacuated himself, taking with him only the bare essentials: whatever little money he had, a few nicotine delivery devices, a picture of his parents, his assorted ID cards and the abovementioned notebook computer. Having wandered the streets clear of any tall structure for about an hour, Prometheus decided he might as well give up and go to his apartment and die at a comfortable 20 degrees Celsius, instead of being broiled in his own sweat outside.

Back at his apartment, a thought crossed his mind. He might not be awake or be awakened if the tremors return. And that time he might not be able to evacuate. A need came upon him to blog what could be his final thoughts.

And thus was written this post, probably the first 'diary' post on this blog, at this unearthly hour. It may grace newspapers tomorrow or Prometheus might recollect this experience at some time in the distant future.

16 June 2006

The Relocation of Prometheus

Prometheus has relocated. To Dubai in the United Arab Emirates, hereinafter referred to as 'here'.

This place is overrun by Malbaris. Prometheus isn't communal but he is statistical. 12 out of 5 Malbaris are difficult to even converse with. This activity can result in such pain in the cranium that makes a root canal look like shaving nick. But Prometheus concedes that it is this very collective that has contributed in a major way to building this nation. Probably the largest of the expat community here, they have been here before people knew of this place. Their dilligence cannot be ignored and their grit is admirable. Prometheus identifies with them. He is Indian too and is here driven by the same lucre of the powerful Dirham.

India might not care for its NFR-NRIs ('not-filthy-rich' overseas citizens), but Prometheus would like to think that this country has accorded them the highest honor -They are building artificial islands, shaped like palm trees and called, well, 'The Palms'. Prometheus thinks its a tribute to the lush palm groves back in Kerala.

20 April 2006

Untitled (as yet)

Naah.. I've got nothing to say. Give up on me. I'm finished. Finito. Most things I wanna write about would seriously modify the categorization of this blog. And writing even that is so much work...

So I go ahead and insert a bleeping link to Blogarama. Allllllrighty then, we have a post.

23 January 2006

Booze for Thought (II)

Lord of the Drinks
Prometheus was at a drinks table with some other Titans. Amid the noises of other drunkards and cigarette smoke and alcohol vapors, the subject at discussion was the quest to discover the inspiration behind the Lord of the Rings. What, apart from 'a certain prohibited substance' conjured up ideas in JRR's mind, especially the idea of the Rings?

The alcohol-soaked brains and nicotine-infested lungs gave rise to a novel thought. Maybe the Rings of Power are but metaphors for 'powers' that are common in our world. Thus, was put forth a theory that:

  • The Nine Rings denote physical prowess. Brute force. Individual might and the might of armies. The force that can pulverize opponents into submission. 'Nine Rings' for it is possessed by many.

  • The Seven Rings signify the power of information. A power that can bend outcomes, force results in one's favor. A force, if wielded correctly, may overpower the Nine. 'Seven Rings' for it is possessed by fewer and demands more skill from its possessor.

  • The Three Rings symbolize the arts and sciences. An evolved power. A refined, sharper force that can be used in disguised manners. 'Three Rings' for it is rare and only the chosen few bear it; and these cannot be given, stolen or transmuted by force.

  • The One Ring is the antithesis of all the above. A force that is common, can be acquired, transmuted, stolen and often is. It seems lifeless and cold. It has a will of its own. None can escape its hypnotic spell. It can be found in the unlikeliest of places and by the unlikeliest of creatures. It lords over the other Rings. Its power bends all but the strongest minds. Money!

Having put forth this brilliantly original theory and having patted themselves on what seemed like their backs, the sozzled Titans ambled home to Olympus. Funny, none remember how they got home.

19 January 2006

Booze for Thought (I)

Starkle starkle little twink
Who the hell are you to think

I'm not under what you call
The alcofluence of incohol

I'm not thunk like drinkle peep
I'm just a little slort of sheep

I don't know who is me yet
But the drunker I stand, the longer I get

So just give me one more drink to fill my cup
Cause I got all sober to Sunday up