24 April 2005

Poll-en Fever

A ToI-TNS poll says that 53% of those interviewed feel politicians are morally dissolute. But 69% (dirty number, wot?) think that the above mentioned morally dissolute politicians are ‘protecting’ the general public by banning dance bars, adult movies and interaction between persons of opposite sex. 54% think that these bans ‘protect’ our womenfolk. 72% feel that the state should intervene in issues like dance bars, and 53% think that it should regulate ‘behavior of couples in public’.

I’m going out on a limb here but 68.9% of me (69 is a dirty number, no?) thinks that these interviewees were sourced from the Sanitarium for Schizoid Functionaries of the erstwhile Taliban regime. 8% of me thinks its for the warmth while an astounding 82% of me feels that ToI-TNS and their interviewees generally have their heads up their derrieres.

The kesar on the shrikhand (‘cherry’ on icing is immoral too, and anyways, icings and cakes belong to the vile vile West) was a comment by Ms. Sridevi Goel, Inspector General of the Railways. To paraphrase, she ‘scolded’ a 12 year old girl since she was ‘speaking’ with two 20 year old boys. Did I mention that she was replying to a question concerning Constable Sunil More’s rape of a 17 year old college girl? It was an ‘aberration’, she says.

Yeah, an aberration like the one that allows some persons whose cranium and rectum are interchangeable to hold office.

23 April 2005

Sound of Music (Pound of Flesh remix)

Dough, a dear, a female dear,
Dancing the night and serving beer,
A vent for those that lech and leer,
This one's cop, that one's a seer,

Hide, flee and run in fear,
Oh! the moral police is here,
Our thoughts they'll cleanse and clear,
On the Shining Path, the nation they'll steer,

But once we stuff bribes up their rear,
The ban will suddenly disappear,
But fatter haftas will now be de rigueur,
And that brings us back to dough.