22 March 2007

SEO Ga Ga

Warning: Contains technical language. No nudity.

For those of you still reading, SEO, if you didn't already know, is Search Engine Optimization. Like the name suggests, it means tweaking your website / blog to make it easy for search engines, and consequently web surfers, to find your website / blog. As with things technical, what began as simple and honest tips has now morphed into something George Lucas could make another futuristic good v/s evil epic out of. There are these White Hats, or people who use White Hat techniques. Derived from cheesy westerns where the good men wore white hats. These are the Jedi. They use honest means like dilligently writing META tags, sharing links with relevant sites, regularly writing good and original content and then, waiting for the search engines to rank them high. Slow and steady, straight and narrow. Then there are the Black Hats, or people who use Black Hat techniques. Derived from aforesaid cheesy westerns where bad guys wore black hats. These are the Sith Lords. They use linkbaits, pay and accept money for link sharing, put machine-generated or even copied content, and do those kind of things that are aimed solely at jumping the search engine ranks and content be damned. Search Engines spend top dollar and top synapse trying to weed out sites using these techniques. And then there are Brown Hats. Derived from some color-blind moron who thought brown in midway between black and white. These people walk the knife edge between good and bad. That was SEO 101 for you.

Prometheus knows a few blogs that have an unusually high Technorati rank, even though the posts aren't regular or topical. And Prometheus has received offers to link share with sites and blogs just for the sake of jacking up that rank figure. Familiar, innit? Prometheus can hear you (figuratively speaking) say that you don't give a retarded rodent's rear to your Google Page Rank or your Technorati Rank or your Alexa Traffic Rank. Some of you would own up to being edgy about comments, checking on them like a miser counting his money over and over again. But hey, that's White Hat, innit?

  1. Surprise 1: Umm.. those memes that we do are, theoretically, Brown Hat. Specifically those with a daily theme and a blogroll widget to indicate participation. The only Wordless Wednesday Prometheus did shot his Technorati rank from 104K to 28K.

  2. Surprise 2: Page Rank works on the basis of counting the number of inbound links (sites linking to you) and outbound links (sites you link to). Which means not linking back to someone who links to you, or quoting a website or blog without a hyperlink to that site, are Black Hat.

  3. Surprise 3: This post is Brown Hat. What place does search engine whacking have on the Moving (Middle) Finger Writes? Had it not been for the fact that Prometheus wrote this original content after being poked in the head by that Thinking Blog Award below, this post with those rich keywords (SEO, Black Hat, Page Rank, Traffic) would be downright Black Hat. Uh.. the words in the last parentheses contribute further.
So does that make Prometheus evil? Write your comments here. Prometheus will be checking every half hour for new ones. And the bestest comments will win a reciprocating linkback to their site.

Technorati tags: , , , , , , ,

11 comments:

Dani said...

the bestest comments will win a reciprocating linkback to their site.

I donno but I see my blog linked just recently.. I must have one something. Haha :P

Which means not linking back to someone who links to you, or quoting a website or blog without a hyperlink to that site, are Black Hat.

*links back teh Moving Middle Finger*

Dani said...

correction: one=won*

0____0 Argh so sleepily careless of me.

Lizza said...

Pshhhh, you're the bestest Sith Lord there ever is, was and will be. Thanks for the SEO lesson. I'm still a teeny bit confused, but wokay. I'll get the hang of this in my lifetime.

Prometheus said...

Dani boy, you had already won a special place on this blog with that spiffy content of yours. This blog linked to you for quite some time. Mebbe the template change screwed up a few things. Ergo, Prometheus has rectified the error and put a link back again. And hey, they don't really say 'cancel' and deport ya for Black Hat ;-)

Liz, learning SEO is not difficult. Use the Force. Let go of everything (Prometheus will take care of the bank account). Release yourself and one with the Force, become. SEO you will soon understand.

H said...

Hmmm. H has got to be the dumbest hat around here, because most of the terminology flew right over.

H also doesn't know which colour adorns her head. She is that dumb [or colour blind - take your pick].

As with all things, it's beginning to dawn on her that blog is perchance deeper and murkier than she could've ever thought in her wildest dreams [beats baboon arms anyday].

she shall now pick her tail, face and eyelids off the floor, and slink off.

Terra Shield said...

I'm off to form a brown hats organisation!!!!

Just kidding...

This post... it was a thoroughly interesting form of technlogcal education... thanks Prometheus :D

PS: cruel word verification made me type 9 unconnected letters!

gem said...

Love the warning. Perfect for me actually because I came looking for nudity.

Radha said...

Didn't make much sense to me; but I guess leaving this comment behind means boosting your blog rank (and ur blogging ego); so here it is!!

Prometheus said...

That "picking up the tail, face and eyelids" reminds Prometheus of Tom (and Jerry), H. Umm.. Prometheus will trade his geekiness and love of cartoons for some sex appeal anyday.

Blogger knows you are an engineer Terra. It wouldn't be caught dead giving you a simple WV, would it?

Gemmolina, if Prometheus weren't a prude and had nudity on his blog, he wouldn't have to write geeky content, wot?

If only, Radha, if only comments jacked up blog ranks. They don't. But Prometheus loves comments. So it did boost the ego. Thankee!

H said...

yaaaaaaaaargh! did you just make a blonde joke at my expense? didja? didja? haaanh? cause I'm too dumb to get it. and I haven't acknowledged it. ok?

FoxxFyrre said...

I must be a Gray-Hatter, I only work in pencil, ink, and charcoal. So, SEO-B-DAMNED. I blog for the fun and friendship. The good reads and bad reads. The humor and the tears. Did Gale say Nudity? Where? Can I draw it? Besides, I can't spill coffee on my blog and ruin it, and that's exactly what I did with one of my sketch books. But I will tag you with See It 'n' Write It Episode 4 at my Honk'n'Holl'r Blog. I didn't say it wasn't a dark gray hat--more slate it think :)